Choosing a caregiver is the most consequential household decision many of us will make in our parents’ later years. It rivals choosing a school for a child — only with less time to prepare and less collective wisdom to draw on. This guide is what we wish someone had given us when we started.
It’s written for families in Bangalore, but the principles travel anywhere in India. We’ll cover the practical checklist (verification, training, fit), the questions to ask before signing, and the quiet signals that tell you a placement is going well.
Start with the situation, not the role
Most families start with a job title — “we need an attendant” — when they should start with the situation. A 78-year-old recovering from a hip replacement needs a different person from a 65-year-old with early dementia, and both are different from a 90-year-old who simply finds the days lonely. Spend ten minutes writing down the actual day you wish your parent could have, and the people who could make it possible will become much clearer.
The non-negotiables (verification)
These should be table stakes for any caregiver entering your home. If an agency hesitates on any of them, walk away.
- Aadhaar verification with original sighted
- Permanent and current address verification
- Police background check on file
- References from at least two prior placements
- Recent in-person interview (not just a phone call)
- A care manager you can call who actually knows the caregiver
Training, not just experience
A caregiver with eight years of experience and no formal training is often less safe than one with two years and a 60-hour curriculum behind her. Ask specifically about: geriatric care basics, fall prevention, medication adherence, vitals tracking, dementia communication if relevant, and a clear escalation pathway in an emergency. The agency should be able to share the curriculum without hesitation.
Match for language and rhythm
In Bangalore, this matters more than people expect. A Kannada-only grandmother and a Hindi-only caregiver can survive a few days, but they will not build the daily relationship that good care depends on. Insist on language match — Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Bengali, English, Hindi are all available with a little patience. Then think about rhythm: morning person or evening person, talkative or quiet, structured or flexible. A good agency will ask these questions before you do.
What pricing should look like
Honest pricing is shown upfront. In Bangalore, ranges are reasonably stable: hourly visits start around ₹220 with a 4-hour minimum, 12-hour day or night shifts run ₹950–1,250 depending on care complexity, and live-in 24×7 placements are ₹28,000–38,000 per month. Anything dramatically below those numbers usually means the caregiver is underpaid or undertrained — both of which become your problem within a month.
Questions to ask before you sign
- What happens if the caregiver and our family don’t feel like a fit?
- Who covers the caregiver’s weekly off, and how is the relief person introduced?
- How often does a supervisor visit our home?
- Who picks up the phone at 2 AM if there’s an emergency?
- What is not covered, so we can plan the rest of the household?
- How do you handle medication errors or missed doses?
- Can we step the engagement up or down without paperwork friction?
Signals a placement is going well (and not)
After two weeks, you’ll know more from observing than from asking. Going well: your parent says the caregiver’s name unprompted, eats slightly more than they did before, sleeps a little better, and looks for the caregiver after the off day. Not going well: your parent goes quiet around the caregiver, refuses care, develops new agitation, or you start hearing complaints from neighbours or family. Don’t over-interpret week one — but week three is real data.
If you’re an NRI
Manage from a distance with structure: set up a WhatsApp group with the caregiver and supervisor, schedule a 10-minute weekly video call with your parent and the caregiver together, and make sure the agency has both an India and an international point of contact.
